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Body image and preoccupation with weight and physical appearance play a huge role in depression in young women. Everywhere we turn we are bombarded with the media’s portrayals of how women should look. However, instead of projecting realistic images of different shapes, sizes, ethnicities, etc., it’s always the same picture that we receive: tall, skinny, sexy and white can basically sum it up.

Unfortunately, this ideal has been imposed on society so forcefully that it has received acceptance and thereby created a completely unattainable ideal. It’s even gotten to the point where the models themselves are not good enough, so their photographs need to be altered with the computer and airbrushing before they ever reach the public. The thing is that we as young women are aware of these facts, but it still doesn't change our desire to be like those pictures that we always see and that society has accepted. Even with this knowledge we internalize these beauty standards and weigh our self-worth accordingly. Obviously if we judge ourselves based on the unreal and unattainable model that the media portrays, we are not going to be satisfied with how we feel and who or what we think that makes a person.

Personally, I know that grading myself against this model made my self-esteem plummet, bringing with it my self-confidence, my sense of who I was, my feeling of self-worth, and ultimately my zest for life, my love for myself and my happiness, not to mention my health. I became clinically depressed, on top of already having an eating disorder. I'm in recovery and I still have my ups and downs, but I know that the only reason that I have come so far is thanks to a truly incredible and dedicated team of professionals that I had the privilege of working with, as well as my all-star team at home, my family and friends. Both of these groups helped me achieve my goals, rediscover my remarkable self, and guide me along my recovery path with endless and unsurpassable support, strength and love.

My family and friends can be credited for numerous things. For instance, they encouraged a positive body image by monitoring the magazines and other media forms inside our house and removing any negative sources. They eliminated talking about diets as well as making negative body comments about themselves and others. We did activities that really celebrated our bodies and everything that they do for us by going on hikes and bike rides. My best friend supported me by letting me know that she cared and was there for me in countless ways, such as cards, phone calls, visits and giving me an awesome picture of the two of us together before I ever developed problems, one that I was able to look back on many times and would make me smile. All of these gestures, even just the smile in the morning and the hug goodnight, were not only noticed, but were also very helpful by serving as reminders that I was loved and cared for, and that I was not alone.

The doctors and health care staff that I worked with offered some invaluable advice and ways of coping with my depression and eating disorder and the role that body image played in both.

First of all, with the guidance of the staff, a group of young women and myself dissected the media by pretending that we were aliens who knew nothing about humans and were gathering information based solely on the advertisements that we saw. In doing this we discovered the extremity of how unrealistic the media’s portrayals are, which really helped.

Although it was very challenging, another thing that really helped me was doing mirror work. This involved looking into a mirror and focusing on a certain body part based on an individual hierarchy, starting with the most easily accepted body part and working our way up to the most challenging body part that we had to accept. While looking into the mirror we would do relaxation techniques such as a style of breathing, visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, etc., and concentrating on self-acceptance by doing positive affirmations. We also worked a lot on changing any ornamental thoughts about our bodies into instrumental thoughts, thereby focusing on what our bodies can do for us as opposed to how our bodies looked.

Lastly, and probably most importantly, we talked about what body image is, how it’s influenced, and what the effects of having a strong and positive body image are versus having a weak and negative body image. We asked ourselves questions such as: “How is it that young women know that what they see in magazines is completely fake and unreal, and yet they still expect themselves to look like that?” “How do we as a society accept and reinforce that unattainable portrayal of women, and how do we reject it?” And of course, “How is it possible to sensitize yourself to the media so that their unrealistic images don't effect your body image, and in turn your mental and physical health.” Creating a positive body image is crucial in our society. We need to redefine beauty into something that is felt, not seen. We need to change our thinking to: “a healthy body is a beautiful body”—a definition which allows a place for all shapes, sizes and races. In order to change society, you have to first change yourself. Although it’s definitely not easy, it is well worth it in the end and it can be done.

P.S. “I've never seen a smiling face that wasn't beautiful.”