My story: Breakthrough Spring 2004

At the Centre

By Delores

Since I was a six year old child, I witnessed my poor mother suffering from horrible depression and anxiety. Sometimes she even needed to be hospitalized and I always worried about when she would come back home. I suppose I had experienced much anxiety myself. By the time I was eighteen, I had my first episode of depression, following the death of my father. These events, combined with the horrible political persecution occurring in my country of Argentina, played a role in the further development of my anxiety. Friends, family and teachers "disappeared" as our dictator tormented our entire society. In total, 30,000 Argentinians went "missing."

I moved to Canada as I believed this country to be fair and just. However, I continued to carry within me a volcano that remained dormant. More recently, with the war in Iraq, this volcano erupted once again. I experienced anxiety, fear, anger and a sense of being trapped by my own emotions. There was no escape. I found myself living in a dark tunnel. All I did was sleep, and when I did awake, utter pain filled my inner self. As time passed, things became even worse. I experienced ugly nightmares, muscle pains and then I could not sleep at all.

Not knowing what else to do, I came to the hospital. Its helpful staff understood my difficulties. They listened to me. My condition required medication, which I still take to this day. My health has been improving ever since. I feel that I am at the end of the dark tunnel. The physical pain is gone, my mind is as clear as an unlimited blue sky. Today, I envision that at the end of the dark cold tunnel, a golden sun is glowing and I am thankful to the people who helped me!

Delores is a writer and was a client at CAMH.