The fallout

CrossCurrents

In 1997, the American Association of Suicidality created a task force to study therapist survivors. It developed a web site for mental health professionals to forge links with other survivors. Visit www.iusb edu/~jmcintos/therapists_mainpg.htm. The following reactions from therapists, posted on the site, illustrate the devastating and isolating effect that client suicide can have:

“I felt responsible, inadequate, fraudulent, absolutely stupid for not picking up the clues. I contemplated leaving the profession.”

“I was so scared other clients with depression would start killing themselves.”

“Oddly, I trust myself more because I had a vague, gut feeling about the client, so I listened to by intuition more.”

“I was scared; scared I hadn’t done enough, scared I hadn’t done the right thing, scared I would get sued, scared I wasn’t a good therapist, scared …”

“After the total shock and disbelief began to diminish, I started to sob, sobbing uncontrollably at times. I experienced extreme anxiety, gross sleep disturbances, and profound sadness. I was spiraling downward quickly, and I was emotionally paralyzed.”

“The peer response I received was truly that of a “mixed bag” and that too compounded my situation. That is, some seemed genuinely concerned, while others were perplexed by my reaction – ‘he’s just a client, it’s not like he’s family.’ ”