Men and women: What's the difference?

CrossCurrents

Based on his clinical work with men, California psychotherapist Jed Diamond highlights common differences between male and female depression.

Female depression

Blames herself

Feels sad, apathetic and worthless

Feels anxious and scared

Avoids conflicts at all costs

Always tries to be nice

Withdraws when feeling hurt

Has trouble with self-respect

Feels she was born to fail

Slowed down and nervous

Chronic procrastinator

Trouble setting boundaries

Feels guilty for what she does

Uncomfortable receiving praise

Easy to talk about weaknesses, doubts

Strong fear of success

Needs to blend in to feel safe

Uses food, friends, “love” to self-medicate

Believes her problems could be solved only

if she could be a better spouse, co-worker, parent, friend

Wonders, “Am I loveable enough?”

Male depression

Feels others are to blame

Feels angry, irritable and ego-inflated

Feels suspicious and guarded

Creates conflicts

Overtly or covertly hostile

Attacks when feeling hurt

Demands respect from others

Feels the world set him up to fail

Restless and agitated

Chronic compulsive time keeper

Needs control at all costs

Feels ashamed for who he is

Frustrated if not praised enough

Terrified to talk about weaknesses, doubts

Strong fear of failure

Needs to be “top dog” to feel safe

Uses alcohol, TV, sports, sex to self-medicate

Believes his problems could be solved only if his spouse, co-worker, parent, friend would treat him better

Wonders, “Am I being loved enough?”