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 Centre for Addictionand Mental Health |
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Getting Help
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11.2 Key factors in recoveryA Family Guide to Concurrent Disorders - Part IV: Recovery Outline - Chapter 11: Recovery
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For people with concurrent disorders to achieve and maintain recovery, they need to:
It seems to me that people reject the sick when there's little hope that they'll get better. Why invest time and energy if a person will very likely remain ill for the rest of their lives? But it's not true of most people with concurrent disorders, provided they are caught early enough and receive good care. My son is working now, he has a girlfriend . . . and it certainly didn't look like he would have any kind of a normal life five years ago when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and drug abuse. So I tend to believe there's a lot of hope out there. Click the link below to print/view the following PDF: The role of hopeI think as family members we have an opportunity to offer a lot of hope to other families going through the same thing. The general public seems to think that once a doctor tells you your family member has a mental illness or a problem with drugs and alcohol, it's over—like, there's no hope; their lives are destroyed and yours too. But it's so different now, so many people recover from concurrent disorders. And look at the research, the new medications and treatments—there have been so many advances. I know so many parents whose kids have gone back to university or have jobs—I mean, they're doing well. Mental illness and substance abuse doesn't have to mean that the person's life is over. So I think we need to give some hope to people. There is great hope for people who have concurrent disorders. Over the past 10 years, many improvements have occurred, including:
A diagnosis of both a mental health and substance use disorder does not mean that a person will inevitably decline and be unable to function. On the other hand, recovery does not necessarily mean that a person's previous abilities and situation will be completely restored or that they won't need medications or other treatment. The overarching message of “recovery” is that hope and a meaningful life are possible. Hope is recognized as one of the most important determinants of recovery. Patricia Deegan of the U.S. National Empowerment Council says: For those of us who have been diagnosed with mental illness . . . hope is not just a nice sounding euphemism. It is a matter of life and death . . . We have known a very cold winter in which all hope seemed to be crushed out of us. It came like a thief in the night and robbed us of our youth, our dreams, our aspirations and our futures. It came upon us like a terrifying nightmare that we could not awaken from. —Deegan, 1993 Inspirational quotesIf you have ever spoken with someone who has benefited from a 12-step program such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon, you may have heard about the “recovery slogans” that thousands of people have said were important contributors to their recovery journeys. Many family members affected by mental health and/or substance use problems have also found similar kinds of slogans (sayings and quotes) to be inspirational, motivating and enormously beneficial. What is it about these little sayings or quotes that make them so powerfully memorable and effective that they can help people actually change how they think, feel and behave? They can be thought of as “bits of wisdom written in shorthand.” Many of them, in a mere one or two lines, can shift a person's entire perspective on particular aspects of life. For example, consider the following quote: “I haven't failed. I've identified 10,000 ways this doesn't work.” —Thomas Edison Thinking about a quote such as this (and even better, discussing it with people who care—what the quote means, how it gives you a new way to look at things in your life, how thinking this new way would be really useful and helpful for you) can help you focus on the positive aspects of a situation. Quotes, slogans and sayings can help people change their attitudes and behaviours so they are less affected by the opinions and actions of others. In these ways and in so many others, these little pearls of wisdom are guides to peace that can have a powerfully beneficial effect on a person's emotional health. As such, they can help to build resilience (see Chapter 5) and reduce a person's vulnerability to developing compassion fatigue (see Chapter 4). Click the link below to print/view the following PDF We have summarized some of our thoughts on a few of the quotes, just to get you started. You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails. Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. Act as if . . . For some people, trying to change their thoughts and feelings before they change their behaviours may not get them very far in their recovery. Waiting until you feel more motivated and less anxious before trying out new recovery behaviours can lead to a worsening of both the substance use and the mental health problems. More motivation and reduced anxiety won't happen if you stick to the same behaviours every day that allow the lack of motivation and anxiety to flourish. Sometimes, people have to take action in spite of feeling depression, anxiety, worry, shame, anger and exhaustion, and in spite of struggling with problematic thoughts and beliefs. So it might be helpful to live by one rule . . . act as if you are feeling great and thinking rationally. In other words, no matter what else is going on inside your own head or outside in the world, follow through on your commitments and your recovery plan (e.g., go to AA meetings, keep appointments with your therapist, eat three nutritious meals every day, get eight hours sleep every night). You will have to force yourself at first, but if you can act as if things are better, you'll actually help that come true. The role of familyNot only should family members be included in discussions about recovery—they can actually share the road to recovery. Many elements considered important for your loved one's recovery may overlap with your own journey of recovery. Some of these might include:
When people meet my son now, everybody is just so flabbergasted. And I think he offers such hope to sufferers and families . . . and people tend to want to talk to you about it. And we try. We try to help families whenever we can. And I think we give them a lot of hope. We get a number of families calling us over the course of a year. And either a social worker or doctor or somebody from the family support group—they've used our family as an example and say, “their son is doing so well”—and then families say, “Can we come over and visit you?” and they come over and talk to my son. So we try to help. We try to give hope to other families. A family journey of recoveryMy dad was treated for alcohol problems when he was 64 years old. By then I was seriously questioning the effects of my Dad's illness on me as wife and mother. I was concerned about the genetic, familial predisposition to addiction and mental illness and how it might impact on my children. My mother and I sought out Al-Anon where we discovered that we were not alone in our search for direction regarding shame-based thinking and powerlessness over a loved one's addiction. We heard about the necessity of practising self-esteem and maintaining boundaries. However, many times while dealing with my adolescent and teenaged children, I found myself caught in a trap where my inability to say ‘No!' made me question my parenting skills. As a child I avoided confrontation, hid anger and disappointment, and ran from conflict. This behaviour afforded me quietude but an inability to verbalize my emotions. Our eldest son struggled with alcohol dependency between the ages of 19 and 23. We strongly encouraged and supported him through treatment at an inpatient facility (he stayed only three weeks). Although haunted by angry emotional outbursts in his early 20s, he succeeded in maintaining sobriety, facing his demons with honesty, courage and faith. My husband and I supported him financially, when necessary, and always communicated our love to him and our confidence in him as a special person. I was determined that I would shield my other children from exploring any form of addictive drug. I kept reading about substance abuse. I also took a course in assertiveness training that gave me confidence to believe in myself, stand firm in my beliefs and voice my feelings. Our seventh child, a gregarious, bright, talented, honest, well-loved person, sank into depression at the age of 18. Over the next few years he struggled to avoid taking medication while seeking professional psychological help, attempting university studies as well as actively seeking out human relationships that most often failed him. He was plagued with suicidal thoughts, inability to cope with studies, and was unable to manage occupational work hours, all the while attempting to ‘keep face.' He and I kept in close touch and we often had ‘emergency meetings over coffee' when he felt that he couldn't carry on. But he would pluck up his courage and try again. At age 21, after a suicidal episode, he was admitted to hospital with a diagnosis of depression with suicidal tendencies. He began antidepressant therapy that relieved his anxiety and increased his energy output so that he could continue university while living at home. Soon stress mounted; he found home too confining and he went to live downtown with friends in an environment where he felt comfortable. Once again he discontinued his studies. I was anxious when he left home but I knew that he must walk his own journey. His brothers and sisters kept in touch with him and he faithfully called his dad and me. My husband, through all this, often remarked to me how he admired his son's courage in facing these hard moments in his life. And my son often said to me, in moments of desperation, ‘Mom, no matter what happens to me, promise me that you will never blame yourself. You have been the best mother. I take responsibility for my life and how I am living it.' My prayer for him continued to be: ‘Lord, you love this child of yours even better than I can. I know you will take care of him.' Two years later he succumbed to the temptation of street drugs in the hope of regaining lost energy and experiencing a more manageable life. Cocaine, crystal meth and marijuana, his drugs of choice, were at first exciting but within a few months, his life careened to a debilitating crash. His brothers, sisters and a cousin encouraged him to return home. They all knew he was desperate and could not manage on his own. Humiliation, guilt and his loss of independence were his major concerns. We are told to have self-reliance but that is tricky when one has no self to rely on. My husband and I and our niece, a close friend of our son, attended an introduction to addiction and recovery program that helped us face the challenge before us. Our son always supported our need to learn coping skills and we shared insights with him and the other family members who were eager to share in the recovery process of their beloved brother. We learned that lapses can be opportunities for growth. We must concentrate on love rather than fear and judgment. At this time our son has been ‘clean' for one year since the completion of a six-week inpatient treatment and follow-up program for concurrent disorders. He continues antidepressant medication under supportive medical care and has a full-time job. He also has a meaningful relationship and hopes to return to university this year. He is socially active and very grateful for each day. Recovery (finding self and gaining control) is an ongoing life challenge. At some time on our journey, we all face grief, disappointment and loss. Each day brings its own challenges. Regaining control can only be accomplished when the pain from lost dreams is faced honestly in a safe, understanding setting. With concurrent mental health and addiction issues, the challenge is two-fold. We were greatly helped by the open communication we shared with our son. He tried so hard to be affable and grateful even at the worst of times. He would stay talking and listening as long as he could and then retreat into the silences of his despair. At this time of his greatest need, we tried to be for him the beacon in the lighthouse. One important factor in my recovery is self-care. Each day I ask myself, ‘What do I need today and how can I accomplish this?' I have learned that, in recovery, I must not only be conscious of my own needs but I must verbalize them and take action to achieve them.
Click the link(s) below to print/view the following PDF:
A Family Guide to Concurrent Disorders Part I: What are concurrent disorders? 1. Introduction to concurrent disorders Part II: The impact on families 4. How concurrent disorders affect family life 5. Self-care 6. Stigma Part III: Treatment 7. Navigating the treatment system 8. Medication Part IV: Recovery 11. Recovery 12. Resources |
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Last updated: May 20, 2010 10:37 AM Published: Feb 10, 2012 6:15 PM ID#P35331 |