Finding a Therapist

Couple Therapy: An Information Guide

Who does couple therapy?

Many social workers, psychiatrists and psychologists have professional training and specific expertise in couple therapy. Some members of the clergy, rabbis and family physicians are also trained in this area. Feel free to ask about the therapist's qualifications and experience. Associations such as the Ontario College of Certified Social Workers and the Ontario Association of Marriage and Family Therapists can confirm the professional qualifications of the practitioner.

There are many people who offer to help people with relationship problems but who have no special training to do so. It is best to see someone who has been specifically trained and is experienced in couple therapy.

How do we find a therapist?

You may find a couple therapist in the same manner that you might find a doctor or a lawyer, namely through family and friends. If they cannot help or if you do not wish to confide in them, you can contact any of the following individuals or agencies either for couple therapy or for a referral to someone who does couple therapy:

• social service agencies such as family service associations, mental health associations and in some communities, the Children's Aid Society
• associations for marriage and family therapy, such as The Ontario Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
• social work or outpatient psychiatric departments of most major hospitals
• family physicians
• religious or faith organizations or leaders
• employee assistance programs or employee health services
• community information centres

How do we know what type of therapist is best for us?

Trained and experienced therapists are able to understand and help people regardless of whether they hold differing moral values, religious beliefs, or ideas about what makes a relationship good. If you have very strong preferences regarding the type of therapist you want to see, you should pursue those preferences. However, not all communities will necessarily have a therapist who is both a skilled couple therapist and meets your criteria.

Can we try different therapists until we find one we like?

While it is helpful to feel some degree of fit with a therapist, it is also important to give the therapist a reasonable opportunity to help. The process itself may be painful; it is important to distinguish between discomfort with the therapist and discomfort generated by the issues being discussed, or the process of seeking help itself. If you are not comfortable with a therapist you are seeing, it is best to discuss this with the therapist.

We've had a bad experience with a couple therapist. How do we know if another one would be any good?

There are a number of possible reasons for a bad therapeutic experience. The timing may not have been right for you or your partner to tackle your problems. Alternatively, you, your partner or both of you may not have been comfortable with the therapist or his or her approach. It is useful to be as clear as possible about what the problem was with your former therapist and to discuss this with a new therapist at the outset. It is well worth thinking about this carefully and discussing it with your partner, if possible, before seeking a new therapist.

Couple Therapy: An Information Guide

Introduction

1. Factors that influence a couple's relationship
2. What is couple therapy?
3. Do we need therapy?
4. Common concerns about therapy
5. Finding a therapist
6. Some practical questions
7. About separation

Appendix

Suggested readings

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