Alone In Canada - Thinking about the past, present and future

"I have no time for the past. Why should I think about it when my husband was killed in the war? I force myself to think only about the future. Yet, sometimes it is not so easy." - Kristinya, from Moldavia

Time may only move forward on the clock, but in our thoughts it can move back and forth between the past, the present or the future. Some newcomers find it difficult to shift their focus from one period of time to another. They may get stuck thinking about the past and the life they had before coming to Canada. If you find yourself living in the past a lot, you may be getting depressed. You should consider getting help from a settlement worker, a religious leader or a doctor.

Other newcomers may refuse to think about the past at all. They may prefer to forget the experiences of war, refugee camps or the long journey to Canada. You may be one of these newcomers. It is natural for you to focus on the present. It may be the only way that you know how to survive. Even though you are now safe, you may find it hard to think about the future. In your homeland you may have felt that you could not think about the future, as you did not know whether you would live to see it.

Healthy people in ordinary circumstances constantly shift between the past, present and future. But when you have lived through stressful situations, keeping the past separate from the present and the future can be a healthy response. Eventually, as you build your life in Canada, you will have to link the past with your present and your future. This is not easy. It may take you months or years to do it. There is no rush. When the past is very painful, many people choose to ignore it - sometimes for years. When you think you are ready to deal with the past, you may want to ask a friend or a counsellor to help you.

Exercise

Try this exercise to see where your thoughts are most of the time: in the past, the present or the future.

1. Draw three circles representing the past, present and future. Vary the size of the circles to show what time period you think about most. The larger circle represents where your thoughts are most of the time.








2. Why do you think the most about the time period represented by the largest circle?



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