Alone in Canada — Making friends

^{From: Alone in Canada: 21 Ways to Make it Better (© 2001, 2011 CAMH)}

“It is very hard for me to stay here because my family and friends all are in my country. Here, I need to start a new life and choose new friends. It is not so easy for me to create that new life.”
Veronica, from Venezuela

Coming to Canada means leaving the familiar people and things from your homeland. These include your family and friends, food, routine, and your place in the community. In Canada, you have to start over, make new friends and build a new life.

It is natural to feel angry, sad and confused as you build your Canadian life. There are no familiar faces or places to go to. It is not easy to make friends – Canadians always seem so busy. And when you do meet people, they may have ideas about your life or your country that are not accurate. It can all make you feel tired and frustrated.

Do not give up.

You can, and will, make new friends in Canada. It takes time. It is easiest to make friends with other newcomers, as you share the experience of living in a new culture. Farat, a refugee from Turkey said, “It was difficult to find friends because of the language, but when I went to English school it was easier. I also met a lot of friends in the gym and when I engaged in volunteer work. Now I improve my English by practicing with my new friends.”

Also, remember that most of us made friends when we were young. Making friends when you are older is harder. Older people have more routines and are busy with work and family. Therefore, they have less time and energy to make new friends.

Tips

Here is a list of places where newcomers can meet new friends:

English or French language classes

at a church, mosque, temple, and other religious or spiritual places

volunteer organizations

at a sports club or in fitness classes at a community centre

at the local library

at a community centre, or at an immigrant settlement agency

at a self-help group where people speak English or other languages. People in self-help groups meet to discuss common problems, and ways to try and solve them.

 

In Alone in Canada

• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Living in a new culture
• Making friends
• Learning Canadian English
• Helping yourself by helping others
• Cooking and “potluck” meals
• Writing for yourself and to friends and family
• Celebrating the holidays
• Learning the unwritten rules of Canadian manners
• Building a new identity
• Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend
• Exercising for fun and health
• Coping with stress
• Thinking about the past, present and future
• Asking for help when things are not right
• Managing your money
• Enjoying the weather
• Setting personal goals
• Developing your routine
• Coping with discrimination
• Your own community
• Celebrating your achievements
• Conclusion – Where to get help or more information

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