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Take Action! Dealing with alcohol and other drug problems in your family

Conflicts and disagreements are part of every family. Differences of opinion aren't only natural — they may even be healthy. What matters is the way your family deals with disagreements about important issues, such as alcohol and other drug use, and whether these disagreements bring you closer together or drive you apart.

Things You Can Do:

1. Timing is important! Sometimes conflict can be dealt with right away. But often it's better to wait until the crisis has passed and family members have calmed down.
2. Include every family member who's involved in the conflict or affected by it. Remember, young children, and family members who live away from home, can have insights or add something important.
3. Before you talk about the problem, set simple “rules” for the discussion, like:
   • stay on topic
   • no name-calling
   • no nagging, lecturing or screaming
   • don't bring up things from the past
   • no interrupting when someone else is speaking.
4. Be fair. Don't generalize about the person you're angry with, by saying, “You always...” or “You never....”
5. Avoid labelling or blaming people. Using terms such as “alcoholic” or “drug addict” doesn't help bring the family together to work things out. Instead, such words can make people feel worse.
6. Give all family members a chance to say how they feel about the issue. Let everyone suggest possible solutions.
7. Be patient! Have realistic hopes about solutions and everyone's ability to change.
8. Know when to let go. Most problems aren't solved quickly. When you make progress — even if the problem is not yet fully worked out — praise the family members who helped make things better.
9. Learn from your experiences in handling conflict. Think about how you could deal with things better next time.

In Take Action! Alcohol, Other Drug Problems & Your Family:

Take Action!
Preventing Alcohol and Other Drug Problems in Your Family

• Talk About It
• Support Each Other
• Set the Rules
• Be a Good Role Model
• Express Yourself
• Make Time for One Another

Take Action!
Dealing With Alcohol and Other Drug Problems in Your Family

• Raise the Issue
• Solve Problems Together
• Learn How to Cope
• Handle Conflict Wisely
• Know How to Get Help